How to Have a Happy Christmas

1. Forget Perfect

Don't tie yourself in knots trying to have a Christmas like you
see on the pages of a magazine. These are stage managed by a
team of people and shot in August. You have a real house and a
real family living in it, not a stage set full of models who
only have to look good for a photograph. Real families argue and
burn the gravy - so don't try and live up to a media image you
have in your mind.

2. Live in the Moment

Sometimes there's so much to do that you spend the whole time
feeling anxious and planning ahead. Take time to enjoy the
delights of the festive season otherwise there's no point. If
you don't make space to enjoy the company, the food, the
decorations and the carols you lose the chance of sharing the
magic which makes Christmas special. 

3. Avoid overwhelm

Make a list of all you have to do and cross off anything which
does not make you smile (or which others would not miss). That
should get rid of a lot from your list. If you have too much to
do then ask for help. No one says you have to do it all. Do a
little each day of whatever you have left on your list to avoid
getting in a panic at the last minute.

4. Budget Wisely

Everyone spends more than usual at Christmas but make sure you
stick to what you can afford. If you will have to spend the next
6 months paying for the extras, then you are better off without
them. Do the best you can with the money you have. 

5. Halve the Cost, Double the Fun

Christmas has become very commercial in some respects but it
doesn't have to be. You can cook great food without spending a
fortune. You can have fun with your family too playing
old-fashioned games such as charades or cards. You can bake or
make decorations together to get in the spirit of the season and
enjoy all the old family movies they put on at this time of
year. 

Presents can be a problem if you're low on cash. Suggest a
Secret Santa present swap where everyone draws lots and buys for
only one adult or agree a very low spending limit for gifts so
that you buy each other something fun rather than a costly item. 

6. Find the Meaning

Christmas is about togetherness, having a good time, peace and
goodwill to everyone, being loving and joyful. It's not about
spending so much you go into debt, eating so much you put on
5lbs or decorating your house with more lights than everyone
else in your area. Decide what Christmas means to you and don't
lose sight of that when you're immersed in the pressure to buy
and eat!

7. Show the Kids

Today most kids over 6 think Christmas means getting stuff. They
have lists of toys and games and designer gear they want - and
yet they are also open to enjoying other aspects of Christmas.
Help them experience the true meaning by sharing special
moments. Bake cookies with them. Decorate the tree together.
Sing carols and collect money for charity. Let them parcel up
their outgrown toys (or buy some items together) for the needy. 

8. Give Yourself

Give in ways other than buying presents to experience the magic
of Christmas. Offer to baby sit so parents can go and buy gifts
for their offspring. Take an old lady shopping at the
supermarket in your car so she can stock up for her family
coming instead of struggling on the bus. Be kind to those
serving in shops - it's a busy time for them and they often
receive the brunt of others' stress and bad temper. You'll get
back as much joy as you give. 

9. Consider Yourself

When buying gifts for everyone else, buy a few things for
yourself. Wrap them up and share the fun on Christmas Day. Make
sure that you take your wishes into consideration about how you
would like to spend Christmas too. If you don't want to spend
the whole time travelling between relatives, plan to stay at
home next year. If you want to make something other than
traditional food, make it! No one creates a rule that says
Christmas has to be this way or that.

10. Communicate

If you decide to change things let everyone know ahead of time.
You don't want any sulking on the day. You may not know how
important a particular tradition feels to someone until you try
and change it. Ask what everyone likes about Christmas and try
and accommodate as many wishes as possible without compromising
your own happiness. You may find you can drop some old
traditions without a qualm and you may start to feel great about
others once you know how much they are appreciated. 

Copyright 2005. Janice Elizabeth Small