Have you ever struggled to get your child's attention? Perhaps
you have dinner on the table, and want the kids to come before
everything gets cold. Your objective is clear, but your child is
engrossed in a video game. Their eyes are focused on the TV
screen. Their hand is on the joystick. They're playing the game,
and you're being ignored. As a result, you feel frustrated,
angry and stressed. What can you do to get your child's
attention?
Try the "Pause and Eyeball" technique. First, get control of the
situation by asking the kids to pause. Tell your child, "Time
out! Stop you're doing and listen to me."
Your child may be so engrossed in their computer game that
they're almost in a trance. Their eyes are glazed over, and they
may not ever hear you. This causes your instructions to be
ignored . To break the trance, clap your hands and tell them to
time-out. You could also use a hand bell, horn or whistle. What
you're trying to do is break your child's trance. Ask for your
child's focused attention: "All eyes on me. Eyeballs right
here!"
Demand that your children look at you when you speak. Now you
have their attention. Tell them that dinner is on the table, and
they need to come now. If they groan and complain, continue to
be firm. Stick to your guns. "You can play that game later.
Dinner is ready and you're coming to the table NOW."
The "Pause and Eyeball" technique has been used in the military
for years. Have you ever seen a drill sergeant addressing his
troops? They are all standing at attention, and staring straight
ahead. To break the trance and get everyone focused on his
words, the sergeant yells, "break and look out!" This means that
the troops must turn their head to look at the sergeant, so that
their auditory as well as visual capacities are engaged. Now the
sergeant has their focused attention.
Think of how this technique applies to your children. When your
child is looking at you (visual) and listening (auditory,) then
they're more likely to obey your commands. Applying the "Pause
and Eyeball" technique will capture your child's attention and
bring them to your focus. You'll avoid the yelling, crying,
screaming, arms-folded resistance, and refusing to cooperate.
Remember that you're the parent, and you're in control. Now
let's all sit down and enjoy our dinner.
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