As a parent, you have the opportunity to set the tone in your
home based on the style of parenting you choose. You can choose
child-centered parenting or family-centered parenting—the
differences will be discussed here.
Child-centered Parenting o Intensely pursue the child’s
happiness, taking great strains to avoid discomfort or emotional
stress for the child. o The child receives what she wants when
she wants it: no delay, no waiting.
These concepts might not sound too bad, but what happens when
Mom is sick? Or when Mom & Dad want to leave the baby with a
sitter? There is little-to-no freedom in this parenting plan—and
the baby will not grow in to a child who understands delayed
gratification or how the world works. Additionally, this sets a
child up for a bad case of “me-ism”—other people will not matter
to her. Her goals and needs are paramount to everyone else’s
goals and needs, and the ability to look outward and understand
being part of a team will be compromised.
Family-centered Parenting o Keeps the baby’s needs met,
but within the appropriate context of the family unit. o The
child enters in to a team-setting; she is not the center of the
universe, but part of the family-team.
These concepts might not seem very different from the
child-centered approach to parenting, but the results of the two
methods are starkly different. Parents have the freedom to meet
their child’s needs and look ahead to developing skills and
abilities, as they aren’t catering to every fleeting whim or
fancy a child might express. Sitters are okay for the family, as
the parents will take time out to “date” and be intentional with
each other. Because a baby raised in a family-centered plan
understands that she is part of a team, she will learn “we-ism,”
not “me-ism.” She will consider others as she grows and how her
goals and needs can be met within the framework of a
team—without compromising the others on the team.
You may know people on either side of these parenting styles who
go overboard. That’s not what I’m advocating here; a balance
must be achieved. Remember these things:
Life doesn’t stop because you have a baby Date
your spouse Continue those loving gestures you enjoyed
before your baby came along Invite some friends over
for food and fellowship At the end of each day, spend
15 minutes sitting with your spouse, discussing the day’s events
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