When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what
images come to mind? I see a big, broad shouldered soldier,
dressed in green fatigues, with brown paint on his face. His
chest is crisscrossed with ammunition for the guns strapped on
his legs. He’s quietly hidden under the cover of trees, waiting
to snipe away at the enemy with maximum impact.
The word ‘guerilla’, was a term borrowed from Spanish used to
describe small combat groups. Guerilla warfare operates with
small, mobile and flexible combat groups without a front line.
It seems appropriate to use this term when discussing new
parenting techniques for parents. I’m going to describe what
guerilla parenting techniques are; what they aren’t; give some
examples and then explain why they are helpful to parents and
children.
Just like in guerilla warfare, it’s always a great thing to
respond to your children in ways totally different than what
they expect. It catches them off guard and they start to watch
you and listen better. Sometimes, you come in quietly, interact
with them in new and unexpected ways, and then retreat quickly
without a word. The less you say the better. You provide natural
consequences instead of punishment; you make the consequence fit
the crime. If a child is fighting with a sibling, perhaps that
child has to do his sibling’s chores the next day to make up for
his negative actions, instead of being sent to his room.
Successful parents are fully armed with unexpected ways to
handle frustrating behaviors.
Guerilla parenting techniques do not involve giving severe
consequences. They aren’t needed. It is the certainly of a
consequence coming that has impact with children. Therefore,
physical punishment, especially when given to control,
manipulate or to demonstrate power would not fall under this
category of parenting styles. Making children feel they are
wrong, belittling them and/or putting them down would also not
be an example of guerrilla parenting techniques.
Let’s look at three examples of guerilla parenting techniques. I
found them in Brita St. Clair’s little book called 99 Ways to
drive Your Child Sane. The first is in response to a child who
constantly chatters. Start watching an imaginary fly going
around the room. Watch it land somewhere, sneak up on it and pop
it in your mouth. Move your tongue around the inside of your
cheek like the fly is trying to get out and let it loose and
start over and/or turn to your child and say, “I’m sorry, were
you saying something?”
If you have a child showing a negative, “snotty” attitude, walk
by and hand your child a tissue. Don’t say anything, just hand
it to the child. If he or she asks what it’s for, just say, “I
thought you might need it.” See if your child figures it out
without your help.
What about the child who likes to say, “That’s stupid.” If you
child says this phrase a lot, say, “No, this is stupid,” and do
something really crazy like walk backwards with your head
between your legs. Then, walk away and leave the child wondering
what that was all about. The more you do these activities, the
more fun you begin to have.
Guerilla parenting techniques are helpful to parents and
children because the parents don’t get upset and yell at their
children. Instead, they remain calm and in control. For some
families, that would really shock the kids into watching their
parents (What happened to my mom? I’m not able to get her upset
and get my way anymore). Parents change the dance steps with
their children; they move in new and unexpected ways, which
throws the children off guard; it can shift tension and anger to
silence and laughter instantly. Finally, You use natural
consequences for misbehavior instead of punishment, so the
children have to look at how they created their predicaments
instead of getting angry at their parents for punishing them
In summation, you’ve read my explanation of guerilla parenting
techniques, as well as examples of what they are aren’t. Some
examples of these techniques were given before I addressed how
these techniques are helpful to parents who are successful with
their children. Now, when I hear the phrase, ‘guerrilla
parenting techniques’, I envision a picture of a strong, loving,
confident and spontaneous parent who isn’t afraid to have fun
while catching his or child off guard; a parent who knows how to
ambush children into behaving respectfully and responsibly at
home.
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