As school winds down does your child wind up?
The separation process can be difficult for all involved.
Separation anxiety is the conflicting feelings that children
have when they part from the person or people to whom they are
most attached. At the end of the school year, many children
experience anxiety when saying goodbye to teachers and
classmates. Many experience it again at the end of the summer
when it’s time to go back to school.
Separation anxiety is a normal process in a child’s development.
It is a process that requires open communication, as well as,
self-awareness. The process will be successful if several key
points are addressed.
Here are some simple Do’s and Don’ts to help alleviate your
child’s end-of-school (and back-to-school) anxiety and help them
(and you) enjoy a much happier summer.
Do’s
•Know yourself: Examine your thoughts and feelings about the
separation process.
•Know your child: Ask questions, find out his or her thoughts,
feelings about the end (or beginning) of the school year, as
well as the meanings of communication.
•Intervene Early: Don’t wait until the last day of school or the
last day of summer. Address significant and/or consistent
behavior changes.
•Follow-through: Say what you mean and mean what you say.
•Communicate: Communication is key. Talk with teachers, listen,
learn, and, most of all, be open
Don’ts
•Ignore your own feelings: Separation is difficult. Don’t stifle
or undervalue your feelings in favor of your child’s.
•Ignore your child’s feelings: Your child may display feelings
of anxiety or sadness. Don’t ignore or devalue their feelings
about the separation process
•Give in or give up: Clarify the conflicts and work out a
resolution. Don’t give in to the “I’m not going to summer camp”
or “I’m not going to school” threats. •Underestimate impact
effects of change: Children are creatures of routine. Your child
has been following a set routine for the entire school year.
Don’t underestimate the effect that summer holidays, illnesses,
vacations, and deaths can have on a child’s routines.
•Forget about age appropriate behavior: Don’t expect your child
to exhibit adult behaviors when dealing with their anxieties.
And don’t tolerate any age inappropriate behavior (such as when
your nine year old starts talking like a toddler!).
When to reach out
Keep an eye out for the following signs that your child may be
experiencing separation anxiety. Most separation anxiety can be
solved by increased communication with your child.
•Increased closeness at home etc.
•Increased irritability and/or tantrums
•Decreased desire to socialize
•Changes in sleep
•Changes in appetite
Remember: You are the expert when it comes to your family and
child. If you have a concern, trust your instinct and find
someone trained to help you. Discuss your concerns with friends
and family, too. You don't need to worry alone!
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