The cost of being a parent and raising a child in todays world
is constantly increasing. The risk of your child becoming
involved in problem behaviour is also greater. Parents must work
together as a team to ensure the brightest future for their
children. But what if there is no team. No other person to rely
upon. This is what millions of single parents deal with
everyday. But it is not only the parent who sees this as a
gloomy situation. Children are quite often left thinking that
they are the reason for a separation or divorce. It is the child
who must attend father and son day at school without a dad. They
have to grow up with all the stigma attached to coming from a
"broken home". These are just a few of the many potential
problems that a single parents household are faced with. This
article is aimed at providing single parents with some
strategies for raising a good child despite what other people
may say.
Concentrate on the positives
Although it may be impossible to see at first, there are some
positives for single parents. The main one being less fighting,
bickering and tension around the house. This will benefit your
child in the long run as it becomes a more child friendly
environment. Try to see your situation as a new found freedom
and feeling of independence.
Develop a new relationship with your child
A child must obviously be comforted at such a time, but also
made to see that you are the boss. Do not let your child think
that because there is now only one parent around, they can do
whatever they please. Children need rules and routine,
regardless of how many parents are around.
Ask for help if you need it
Suddenly single parents will probably find that their workload
doubles or triples at first. If your children are old enough, be
sure to set them some chores around the house each day to take
the pressure off yourself a little. Speak to other parents as
much as you can. You will be surprised how often they will be
happy to help out. It may just be taking your child to the
movies or to a sports game on a Saturday morning, but every
little bit helps. Above all, don't feel as though you have to do
absolutely everything on your own.
Do not use your children for emotional support
Children need to have fun, play with their friends and enjoy
their youth. Do not become overly possessive of your child or
look to them for emotional support. This quite often leads to
the child feeling as overwhelmed as you are. Although you may
not be ready for another romantic relationship, try to talk to
other adults about your emotions.
Kids react best to routine
In order to create a stable household envirnonment with
children, their must be rules and routine. Simple things like
having dinner at the same time each night, bed time, homework
time etc... If you can provide a schedule for them, they will
feel a sense of security. Of course, the correct dosage of
attention and affection will also provide and sustain a nuturing
environment, but a combination of the two will always work best.
Don't forget about you
For single parents with a house full of kids and only one parent
to do all the work and all the worrying, it may be easy to
forget about ones self. It is crutial to the well-being of your
children, that you stay healthy. If you feel run down, ask
another parent or relative to mind the kids for a night or two.
Try to remember the things you enjoy doing and dedicate a little
bit of your time to do these things. The way a parent feels is
quite often reflected in a child. If you are stressed out all
the time, then this may directly or indirectly affect your
child. So, try to stay calm around the kids when you can. Take a
deep breath, or wait until the kids are out of the car before
you start screaming!
Try to remember that it is all about quality not quantity. There
are many two parnet households out their that are doing a much
worse job than yourself. Just beacause a parent finds themsleves
on their own, doesn't mean that things won't work out. Remember,
not just anyone can run a house, raise kids and do a thousand
other things all at once. Give yourself a pat on the back once
in a while. You have a lot to be proud of. Best of luck to you!
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