This column offers solutions to people who write in questions
about how they can solve their life challenges through the
formula described in the books, Way of the Positive Flow and
Positive Flow Parenting, by Lawrence Vijay Girard
Please send your questions to
Submissions@FruitgardenPublishing.Com
Parents Dealing with Worry and Fear
by Lawrence Vijay Girard
Dear Vijay,
I worry about not being a good parent. My daughter Tracy is six
and my son Michael is four. They seem happy. Our family does
things together. It is just that with so much that seems to be
going wrong in the world, I fear that something will go wrong at
home.
Hope you can help me, M.J.
Dear M.J.,
This really isn’t a parenting question. It is a question about
your own self and how you relate to life. Your children are
simply the catalyst for energizing these issues for you. The
fact that your feelings of unrest are manifesting in the guise
of concern for your children just proves that negative energies
don’t play fair. They go for our soft spots, and they have no
mercy.
You told me your story perfectly. But, you only needed to use
two of the words you wrote: Worry and Fear. These are words that
become self-fulfilling. The more you use them, the more powerful
they become.
Whenever you have reoccurring feelings or emotions that get in
the way of your personal sense of internal balance you are doing
yourself and your whole family a favor by doing something to
improve your mental/emotional landscape.
You have taken the first big step by recognizing that this area
of your life is out of balance. Observation is key to knowing
what is going on in life. Next you want to come up with creative
solutions to your situation. Remember, you aren’t trying to go
to war with yourself over this issue. What you are trying to do
is redirect energy that is heading in what you would consider to
be a negative direction, and turn it towards a positive
direction.
Here is an idea to show you how this works:
Go on a diet. Not a food diet, but a worry/fear diet. That means
you consciously abstain from worrying or being fearful for
periods of time. Of course as soon as you go on a diet (as with
food) you become intensely aware of the very thing that you are
trying to forget!
The key is to remember that you aren’t trying to fight with
yourself. You are trying to redirect negative energy into a
positive direction.
If you take some quiet time to search inside yourself for
creative ideas I bet you will come up with some fun and
inventive ways that fit your own situation perfectly. If you get
stuck for ideas, do a little brainstorming with a good friend.
Tip: You don’t have to tell your friend that you are driving
yourself nuts with worry/fear. That could create a negative
image in their mind. Just tell them truthfully that you are
looking for some fun ways to redirect your energies when you
feel the need. They may end up trying the ideas themselves!
When you notice that you are starting to worry or be fearful
(you want to catch yourself as quickly as possible before you
build up a head of steam) then go directly to one of your
redirection ideas. If the first one doesn’t work, move right on
to the next idea.
Here are some sample ideas:
* Make silly faces in the mirror. * Exercise intensely.
Activities that take mental, as well as, physical effort are
particularly good. * Do a good deed for someone. Intense
attention to others often takes us out of self-involved circles
of thought. Read the comics or a good book of humor. * Listen to
joyful music. * Watch a light, happy movie. * Learn to meditate.
Meditation is the most direct way to internally redirect our
energies. * Affirm: I am joyful and energetic! Repeat this out
loud ten to twenty times while walking in place and swinging
your arms. When you immerse yourself in almost any positive
direction with energy and concentration you will find that
negative energies lose their power and eventually fall away
through neglect. This is a powerful truth that works in every
facet of life.
Experiment with these ideas and let us know how things go.
Bless You,
Vijay
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