Keeping It In the Family
© 2002 Elena Fawkner
I'm sure you've heard this dreaded statistic before: the failure
rate of all start-up businesses is around the 90% mark. Add to
that the further distinctly unpleasant fact that roughly 50% of
all marriages end in divorce and you can quickly see that the
odds of your new small business succeeding, already slim, become
positively anorexic if you run your business in partnership with
your spouse.
So, what are some of the key challenges faced by newly
entrepreneurial couples and what can YOU do to reduce the
chances of becoming a statistic?
RELATIONSHIP
A structure is only as strong as the foundation upon which it's
built. If you're in business with your spouse, the foundation of
your structure is the relationship. That needs to be like
bedrock before you even *contemplate* starting a business
together.
Make sure you honestly assess your commitment to the business
and to each other up front. Do you share the same family values
and desires? Do you plan to have (more) children? If so, how do
you accommodate family responsibilities and build a business at
the same time?
Discuss these issues before they arise. The last thing you, your
business, your relationship or your family needs are nasty
surprises. If you simply assume your spouse will cut back on the
business and assume the lion's share of the parenting
responsibilities, think again. Your spouse may be making the
same assumption ... about you!
Preserve and nurture what's led you to where you are today: your
relationship with each other. And that may not be as easy as it
sounds.
At least in the early days of the business, your relationship
will need to thrive on a lack of quality 'couple' time or,
indeed, any time at all! It is by no means unusual for new
business owners to be working 16 hours a day, 7 days a week to
get their businesses off the ground. That's one very important
reason why your relationship needs to be in good shape before
you go into business together. You don't want to be subjecting a
relationship in trouble to that sort of pressure.
Look for ways to retain romantic intimacy. When you're working
16/7 that won't happen by itself. One good idea is to schedule
'dates' on a regular basis. Even once a week can make all the
difference. Just make sure you don't use the time to talk shop.
This is supposed to be romantic time for the two of you as a
couple. Tomorrow's the time to discuss business and it will be
here soon enough!
You can, I'm sure, think of many other ways to keep romance
alive. Start little rituals, such as candlelight dinner breaks,
for example. The important thing is to always stay aware of this
area of your relationship and don't let it slide, no matter how
absorbed you both become in your new business.
You'll probably find you take it in turns being vigilant in this
area.
DIVISION OF RESPONSIBILITY
It is absolutely crucial that each of you has your own clearly
defined areas of sole responsibility. Any business needs one and
only one person to make a final decision. This doesn't mean that
one person makes all the decisions, it just means that one
person makes the final decision in his or her area of sole
responsibility.
Start by allocating business responsibilities between you and
having a very clear understanding that each of you has final
decision-making authority in your respective areas. Under no
circumstances should you encroach on your partner's area of
responsibility and/or override his or her decisions. Start doing
that and the cracks WILL begin to appear, I kid you not! Sure,
consult each other when making decisions. That's what business
partners do, after all. But the ultimate decision-making
authority must rest with the one who has overall responsibility
for the relevant area of the business.
The business is not the only area where responsibility needs to
be divided. Don't forget to allocate responsibility for
household chores and parenting responsibilities. Who is to do
the grocery shopping, the laundry, the cleaning and bill
payments?
COMMUNICATION
Each of you should treat the other just as you would a respected
colleague outside the business. So show each other the same
respect, courtesy, appreciation and gratitude that you would
show any valued co-worker.
No matter how well people get along, disagreements about certain
aspects of the business are inevitable. And just as in any other
business, what is important is how those disagreements are
resolved.
A clear agreement on division of responsibility is a very good
start and having already agreed that one of you has final
decision-making authority in your respective areas means that
there is always a means for resolution of the disagreement - a
final decision. Otherwise you'd find yourselves going around in
circles, unable to agree, until finally one of you would take
matters into your own hands out of frustration or you'd simply
do nothing. And that's bad for the business and bad for your
relationship.
A good way of communicating about business issues is to hold
regular business meetings together. Perhaps a Monday morning
partners' meeting would work well for you, or lunch on
Wednesdays, perhaps. Although the idea of a meeting may seem a
little formal at first given your relationship outside of the
business, keep in mind that the disciplines you find in an
external business are there for a reason. They keep the business
on track and keep everyone focused on the task at hand. So take
time on a regular basis to regroup, take stock, stay up to date
with where the business is, where it's headed and what each of
you is working on and planning.
By holding meetings like this you also avoid 'spillover' of the
business into your personal time of which there is precious
little to begin with. Which brings us to the next point.
KEEP BUSINESS AND HOME SEPARATE
The ultimate success of your business depends upon both of you
making decisions based on what's best for the business. If you
are not prepared to do this, then your business is doomed to
failure. Really think about what this means before you start
out. Do you - BOTH of you - have what it takes to do that? When
the time comes will you forego that vacation to Hawaii to plough
the money back into the business? Will you? Are you sure? What
if the relationship's starting to get a bit shaky? Will you
still do it?
It follows from what was said above that the business is
something separate from the relationship/home. This is necessary
for the survival of the business. Equally, it is necessary for
the survival of your relationship.
What are some of the things you can do to keep business and home
separate?
=> Set Business Hours
Set regular business hours and stick to them. Except in an
emergency, what doesn't get done in business hours doesn't get
done until the next day.
=> Don't Let Business Intrude on Personal Time
Personal time is all that time outside of regular business
hours. Jealously protect it from encroachment by the business.
If the business line rings at 7:30 pm and business hours ended
at 6:30 pm, let the answering machine pick it up. In other
words, shut the door on the business at the end of the day.
=> Don't Let Home Intrude on Business
Just as you must jealously guard your personal time, so too you
must insulate the business from intrusions on the home front.
So, when friends who know you work from home suggest you play
hookey to hang out with them during business hours, say no.
Schedule hanging out with friends for your personal time.
If you're at odds with each other about something to do with
your personal lives, don't let it affect how you work together
in the business. Focus on the task at hand, not your feelings
about the personal issue. If it's getting in the way, resolve
it. Don't let resentment undermine your working effectiveness.
OTHER ISSUES
Finally, there's a myriad of issues that are deserving of whole
articles in themselves. They're listed here just as thought
starters.
=> Family Demands
If you have children, there may be times when family demands can
shift the commitment to the business of one or either of you.
During such times, make sure it's only one of you whose
commitment has shifted. Plan for what you will do if, for
example, a child gets sick.
=> Outside Interests
To keep your relationship fresh and interesting, you should both
pursue interests that are independent of the business and each
other.
=> Separate Space
You live and work together. That's a LOT of togetherness.
Everyone needs personal space. If possible, have separate work
areas so you're not under each other's feet ALL the time.
=> Capital Sufficiency
Make sure you have sufficient capital to sustain you through the
start-up phase of your business.
=> Where Did They Get the Money for That?
Has your business capital come from family sources? If so,
beware scrutiny of your expenditure from family members. It is
common for entrepreneurial couples with family money backing
them to feel like they have to justify the necessity for a
particular item of expenditure, particularly if unrelated to the
business.
=> What if the Relationship Ends?
Particularly if the business is your sole means of livelihood,
think about having a plan for what happens to the business if
the relationship ends. While no-one likes contemplating such an
eventuality, the fact is that half of all marriages end in
divorce. Those are pretty high odds. You may agree that you will
both continue with the business; one of you may buy the other
out; or the business may be sold in toto with the profits being
divided between you.
=> Succession Planning
If your business is successful, what will you do when you exit
the business?
=> Business Failure
Finally, consider your financial position if the business fails.
Not only are you out of work but so is your partner. This is a
very different proposition from a business being run by only one
spouse. At least then the other spouse is still bringing a
paycheck home. Think about how quickly you will both be able to
return to paid employment if the worst happens.
The prospect of running a successful business with our mate is
the dream of many. It is natural to want to share as much as
possible with our partner. But it is not for the faint- hearted
and there are many issues to take into account. Don't make your
decision based on visions of romantic togetherness. The reality
will be altogether very different. But if, with eyes wide open
and having taken all of the above factors into account, you
believe you can be successful in business together, by all means
go for it!
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Elena Fawkner is editor of A Home-Based Business Online ...
practical business ideas, opportunities and solutions for the
work-from-home entrepreneur. http://www.ahbbo.com
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