To the narcissist, the Internet is an alluring and irresistible
combination of playground and hunting grounds, the gathering
place of numerous potential Sources of Narcissistic Supply, a
world where false identities are the norm and mind games the bon
ton. And it is beyond the reach of the law, the pale of social
norms, the strictures of civilized conduct.
The somatic finds cyber-sex and cyber-relationships aplenty. The
cerebral claims false accomplishments, fake skills, erudition
and talents. Both, if minimally communicative, end up at the
instantly gratifying epicenter of a cult of fans, followers,
stalkers, erotomaniacs, denigrators, and plain nuts. The
constant attention and attendant quasi-celebrity feed and
sustain their grandiose fantasies and inflated self-image.
The Internet is an extension of the real-life Narcissistic
Pathological Space but without its risks, injuries, and
disappointments. In the virtual universe of the Web, the
narcissist vanishes and reappears with ease, often adopting a
myriad aliases and nicknames. He (or she) can thus fend off
criticism, abuse, disagreement, and disapproval effectively and
in real time – and, simultaneously, preserve the precarious
balance of his infantile personality. Narcissists are,
therefore, prone to Internet addiction.
The positive characteristics of the Net are largely lost on the
narcissist. He is not keen on expanding his horizons, fostering
true relationships, or getting in real contact with other
people. The narcissist is forever the provincial because he
filters everything through the narrow lens of his addiction. He
measures others – and idealizes or devalues them – according to
one criterion only: how useful they might be as Sources of
Narcissistic Supply.
The Internet is an egalitarian medium where people are judged by
the consistency and quality of their contributions rather than
by the content or bombast of their claims. But the narcissist is
driven to distracting discomfiture by a lack of clear and
commonly accepted hierarchy (with himself at the pinnacle). He
fervently and aggressively tries to impose the "natural order" –
either by monopolizing the interaction or, if that fails, by
becoming a major disruptive influence.
But the Internet may also be the closest many narcissists get to
psychodynamic therapy. Because it is still largely text-based,
the Web is populated by disembodied entities. By interacting
with these intermittent, unpredictable, ultimately unknowable,
ephemeral, and ethereal voices – the narcissist is compelled to
project unto them his own experiences, fears, hopes, and
prejudices.
Transference (and counter-transference) are quite common on the
Net and the narcissist's defence mechanisms – notably projection
and projective identification – are frequently aroused. The
therapeutic process is set in motion by the – unbridled,
uncensored, and brutally honest - reactions to the narcissist's
repertory of antics, pretensions, delusions, and fantasies.
The narcissist – ever the intimidating bully – is not accustomed
to such resistance. Initially, it may heighten and sharpen his
paranoia and lead him to compensate by extending and deepening
his grandiosity. Some narcissists withdraw altogether, reverting
to the schizoid posture. Others become openly antisocial and
seek to subvert, sabotage, and destroy the online sources of
their frustration. A few retreat and confine themselves to the
company of adoring sycophants and unquestioning groupies.
But a long exposure to the culture of the Net – irreverent,
skeptical, and populist – usually exerts a beneficial effect
even on the staunchest and most rigid narcissist. Far less
convinced of his own superiority and infallibility, the online
narcissist mellows and begins – hesitantly – to listen to others
and to collaborate with them.
First published in my "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" Topic
Page on Suite 101
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