Good evening troglodytes, I hope all is well. Now before I
kickback in my central-heated hole in the ground and play Guess
Who with Clint the Stalactite, I have one quick question:
Q: What do Isaac Hayes, Kirsty Alley, Tom Cruise & Beck all have
in common? A: They're all FREAKING NUTS!!
According to Wikipedia these guys, amongst other famous
dillweeds are all self declared scientologists. Awesome!!! I
hear you say, "it's nice to see Chef from South Park doing his
bit for academia and the progress of mankind". So I bet your
wondering how Tom Cruise had the time to become an eminent
scientologist in between humping the American dream for the last
two decades. Well it was easy; all he had to do was sign up with
the church of scientology.
For those of you who don't know, the church of scientology is a
peculiar 'cult' type of movement that was set up in 1951 by
science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard who's quasi-religious
doctrines allegedly bear distinct similarities with the writings
of occultist Alistiar Crowley.
Now I'll give you a quick background on this Hubbard character
before explaining the gist of scientology. In 1981, reporter
Nieson Himmel spoke of time he spent with Hubbard in 1945 and
has been quoted as saying: "Whenever he was talking about being
hard up he often used to say that he thought the easiest way to
make money would be to start a religion." Sam Merwin, a sci-fi
magazine editor has also been reported to have said about
Hubbard: "I always knew he was exceedingly anxious to hit big
money - he used to say he thought the best way to do it would be
to start a cult." For more quotes and literary references please
visit
http://www.bible.ca/scientology-1million-start-a-religion.htm
So, now you know a bit about Hubbard, the sage of scientology
you must be dying to find out what he cooked up to make his
'million bucks outta shmucks (Hollywood or otherwise)'.
Scientology's central beliefs are as follows: People are
immortal spirit beings (called thetan's), who possess a mind,
body and a lesser genetic entity. Thetans have had many past
lives, and memories of these can cause problems in the present
day. People are basically good, but are "aberrated" by the
memories of traumas. Total infallibility of everything Hubbard
(Source) has written or spoken.
Apparently, all our Thetan's flew to Earth 75 million years ago
in an interstellar plane that looks exactly like a Douglas DC-8.
If you don't believe me here's a picture
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_opera_in_Scientology_doctrine
So, if all this has wet your appetite for a trip down the
garden path into the mind of Hollywood Flakes with more money
than sense, I suggest that you read the entire Wikipedia article
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ScientologY#Beliefs_and_practices
You can find out what other saps have subscribed to the
newsletter of nonsense that is scientology here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_famous_Scientologists
Now here's the fun part, check out operation clambake's site
that's been breaking scientology's balls for nearly a decade:
http://www.xenu.net/
And last but certainly least (and to show as little bias as
possible on behalf of myself), the official website of
scientology http://www.scientology.org/
Over and Out
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