I do not have a pornography addiction; that is my official
party line. At least it was until I visited this site (at
www.noeldouglas.com/psychology/pornography/Are_You_a_Pornography_
Addict) that came highly recommended. If you are a porno-phile
like myself, I challenge you also to take this “test.”
Dr. Douglas makes some very insightful points. One was the guilt
factor associated with porn, which is quite true in my
circumstance. Another good point he brings up is the tendency of
the porn addict (or any addict for that matter) to substitute
porn for intimacy. However, I don’t necessarily think that it’s
such a bad thing to view pornography when you’re bored, nor to
view pornography in order to temporarily escape your personal
problems (and, no, I don‘t think I‘m wading in a famous African
river with this one); as long as you recognize the activity as a
brief interlude or respite in the continuing saga that is your
life (like catching a quick movie at the theater), and as long
as you don’t put your problems off indefinitely.
In my case, I partake of pornography as I would any other
pastime such as baseball, picnicking, or watching TV.
Valid though his points were, I felt at times that his expansion
for a point was nonsensical. For example, his 13th question asks
if there are other forces compelling you to watch porn. But to
illustrate his point, he asks the reader if he (the reader)
indeed aspires to be a better individual but is hampered in that
endeavor by pornography. What forces, whether internal or
external, was the doctor alluding to?
Similarly, he demands whether the reader has ever thrown away an
old pornography collection only to replace the collection with a
new stash (question 9). Good questions. Then, however, he kind
of goes off at a tangent and asks if the test-taker has ever
viewed pornography or masturbated while in an altered,
substance-induced, mental state. Huh?
At times, his points were repetitive. The emotional disconnect
between the addict and his loved ones was mentioned more than
twice.
Mind you, none of his points individually are misspoken. I just
thought that oftentimes he took a faulty step in the path of his
logic, and ultimately in the course of the test.
So I took the test with the same mindset I always have when I’m,
ahem, engaging in porn: I can quit any time I so choose. But a
small part of my psyche constantly thinks that I just may be
lying to myself, and here’s why.
There have been times when I told myself I wouldn’t look at porn
for a set period. But, that would only make me want to look at
naked women all the more (is that an addictive trait? I asked
myself). It’s the times when I gave myself free reign to look at
all the porn that I so desired, that the porn didn’t quite hold
the same level of excitement for me. On the one hand, I guess
we, as humans, do often want what we can’t have or that which is
forbidden. Conversely, it could be as Dr. Doug said: you can
become desensitized to the average porn and may need more
extreme pornographic material to attain the same carnal elation.
Having completed the “test”, I’ve come to the conclusion that
I’m not a porn addict, per se. And yes, I did weigh several
factors such as 1) my increased desire for porn when it wasn‘t
readily available; 2) my tendency to view smut when I had
nothing better to do; and 3) a sometimes pervading sense of
guilt after a long viewing “session."
I realize that I just have an over-blown sense of self
effacement due to my strong Christian upbringing. And just as
some people look at oil paintings and others gaze at sunsets, I
enjoy looking at naked women; it’s soothing. The female body is
truly the most beautiful thing that God put on this earth. If
that earns me the label of a visual (pornography) addict, so be
it. I’ve been called much worse.
On the other hand, maybe it’s about time I got off this Egyptian
cruise ship.
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