"Yes" means "no." "Now" means "later."
My English student came by at the time of her lesson and
pronounced this carefully rehearsed question: "Will you give me
30 minutes?" I wasn't completely sure that she meant she needed
30 more minutes until the class started or that maybe she meant
she could only stay for 30 minutes.
"Do you want to have class now?" I asked, trying to clarify the
situation while still using English.
"Yes, now," she replied.
"Ok. Come on over," I gestured to my door.
"I have to eat first."
Do you get it? Why did she say "now" when she really meant 30
minutes later? When you first live or retire in Mexico, you
might be confused by this. After 4 years here, I got it right
away.
In Spanish, when someone says "ahorita" they actually mean "in a
bit." My student was using an English word to express a Mexican
cultural concept.
"In English now means right away, like in 30 seconds," I told
her, snapping my fingers to illustrate the point.
Of course this happens to us north Americans when we are
speaking Spanish. Forget whatever impressions you may have left
over from your high school Spanish class. Cultural differences
define the ways things are expressed in Spanish. If someone
tells you they will do something "ahorita" don't hold your
breath. It may take them a few hours to do it.
Another great opposite is "yes" means "no."
"No" is a taboo phrase, and is therefore rarely used in Mexico.
Instead people just say "yes," albeit more vaguely.
"How can this be?" you ask. Let me tell you, it can be a real
shocker when you first live or retire in Mexico. The real damage
comes in when you, as a person from a country where "no" is an
acceptable response, use the poisonous little word. I've flubbed
up on this one many a time and, let me tell you, people's faces
fall. They feel terrible when you tell them "no."
If you want to say "no" STOP YOURSELF. Try to say "yes" first,
then add something that keeps things very vague. If saying "yes"
feels too much like you will have to follow through on the "yes"
then just give lots of excuses, say "thank you" over and over
and leave the "no" out.
At first you will probably feel like you are lying, but if you
KNOW HOW TO 'NO' it will be much more comfortable for you. When
interacting with others tune in to when they are being vague and
take note of the hedge words they use. By observing others you
can build a "no saying" dictionary that will allow you to
maintain good relationships with friends and acquaintances.--jt
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