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Word count: 619
Summary: Most people fail in their careers because of leadership
deficiencies. A key reason for their failure is they continually
and unknowingly keep falling into two leadership traps. The
author describes the traps and how to get out of them.
Two Leadership Traps: How To Avoid Them. How To Get Out Of them
(Part 2) by Brent Filson
Here's how to get out of, or avoid, the "I need ... " trap. It
simply involves changing what you think and what you say in very
simple ways.
In my working with leaders worldwide for more than two decades,
I've noticed a character trait that the most successful share:
They focus consistently on understanding and supporting the
people whom they lead.
For instance, you could say, "You need ..." which is a good way
out. Or, you could say, "The team needs ... " which is a better
way out.
Or, you could say, "Do you need? ..." Which is the best way out,
especially with a question mark attached. A corollary to this
question is, "What do you need from me to help you get the team
to succeed?"
Asking a question rather than using a declarative is often more
effective because it gets people reflecting upon their
situation. After all, we can't motivate anyone to do anything.
They have to motivate themselves. And they best motivate
themselves when they reflect on their character and their
situation.
A question can trigger such reflection and ultimately lead to
their making the choice to be motivated to be your cause leader.
You may not like the answer; but often their answer, no matter
what it is, can better lead to more results being achieved than
your declaration can.
Furthermore, asking questions like, "What do you need for the
team to succeed? ..." works much better than saying "I need ...
" because you are forging a "critical confluence" – the
confluence of your or your organization's needs with their needs.
You may think I'm putting too fine a point on these changes; and
to a degree, you'd be right. Making simply one change may not be
important; but when you multiple the changes many times during
the day, day in and day out, month in and month out, their
aggregate can add up to tremendous change indeed. In fact, it
can add up to job and career transformation.
So, the next time you are tempted to say, "I need ... ", don't.
Instead, say, "Do you need? ..." or "What do you need? ... "
Over time, you'll forge great changes in how people relate to
you and your leadership, changes that will lead to substantial
increases in results.
However, watch out: In getting out of the "I need ..." trap, you
may find yourself in another trap. Asking "What do you need?
..." might play right into their hands of people who don't'
trust you or want to sabotage your leadership or use you to
further their own ends. Such people want to lead you down their
private rabbit hole. They want to get you exploring things that
have nothing to do with your getting the results you need and
everything to do with satisfying the needs of their ego or
whatever agenda they have. "Don't you think you need? ... "
could be their ticket to ride. Before you ask the question, be
aware of the ride and how to get off.
THE SECOND TRAP. The "You do ... " trap. Most leaders miss a
great opportunity that presents itself to them daily. Since
leadership is all about having people take action that gets
results, it's important to understand the kind of action people
should take to get the best results. You can ensure it is the
best kind of action by challenging people not simply to do a job
but to take leadership of that job. After all, there's a big
difference between people doing and leading; and when you are
constantly saying, "You do ... " you are missing out on getting
a lot more results.
Now that you know how to avoid two leadership traps, you'll find
that your career will be boosted in many marvelous ways.
2005 © The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.
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