How well you deliver complaints may not only dictate the end
results of the specific situation, but could set the tone for
how your employer and co-workers view you as a team player....
We all run into situations about which we are not pleased, and
in many cases have a need to voice our dissatisfaction to
someone, either to vent or to achieve satisfaction. This is
called “complaining,” and how well you deliver complaints may
not only dictate the end results of the specific situation, but
could set the tone for how your employer and co-workers view you
as a team player.
Most of us do not like chronic complainers – in fact, most of us
don’t like complainers chronic or not. Did you ever stop to
wonder why?
People have a right to voice their displeasure – it is most
often in their best interest to do so and in many cases
complaints are the catalyst to the improvement of a product,
system, service or process. So, what is it we don’t like about
the process of complaining, the complaints or the complainers?
I think we can get to the heart of the matter by examining the
dictionary.com definition of the two words, complaints and
complain.
Complaints are defined as expressions of pain, dissatisfaction,
or resentment or a cause or reason for complaining; a grievance.
Complain is defined as an act to express feelings of pain,
dissatisfaction, or resentment, or an act to make a formal
accusation or bring a formal charge.
If a complaint always remained the simple expression of
dissatisfaction, we probably wouldn’t have much trouble. So what
is the problem then – I believe it is summed up in one word
“Accusation”. Many people feel in order to voice complaints they
must also find the reason and the fault for the bad situation.
Most assertiveness training specialists will tell you to always
state your concerns in the form of what they call “I
Statements,” relating only the impact of the offending actions
on you, never making an accusation or blaming anyone for your
discomfort or lack of satisfaction.
So, then let’s take an objective look at this – it’s ok to be
dissatisfied and it’s ok to voice dissatisfaction to the
appropriate place or person – what isn’t ok?
It’s not appropriate to lay the blame for your dissatisfaction
on a person or on something for which an individual is
responsible. An accusation in whatever form is most likely to
offend. It’s pretty easy to understand then that your concern
should be couched in some way that does not hint of an
accusation or a threat.
>From observing people over the years, many people feel if they
take their complaints first to the highest level of authority
the results will be faster and more satisfactory. I actually
believe this is very untrue and is at the heart of many common
workplace disputes.
I also notice many people approach a complaint situation as an
offensive attack, feeling they have to lay out all the facts and
point out all of the related dirty deeds. This is particularly
true when complaining to a merchant or company when you are
asking for a refund or the replacement of a product.
Remember a company may be very large, but your complaints are
going to be read and interpreted by a person.
If you must complain, think about it first. Make sure you are
not feeling victimized, it may cause you to appear as a whiner.
Look at the facts objectively. Remember the truth will often lie
somewhere in the middle.
The other side will have an opinion, consider what it might be
and be willing to acknowledge that you may have played some role
in the situation.
If it is a co-worker be nice – if it is a company go to the
person who provided the service to you when possible. Do not go
to the president of the company or immediately to the BBB.
Escalation should only happen when you are unable to achieve
results directly – and then escalation should only be to the
next highest authority – again, not directly to the top.
Don’t practice law unless you are licensed to do so and don’t
make threats, especially if you are not prepared to follow
through. Before you send anything in writing read it with the
eye of the receiver.
These rules will not work in every situation obviously; your
department store will have an impersonal refund policy and an
address to direct your complaints. But your attorney, doctor,
counselor, mechanic, landscaper, plumber and banker will
appreciate hearing about your dissatisfaction directly from you,
rather than from the BBB or another regulatory agency.
The same goes for your co-workers, let them know in
non-threatening, non-accusatory language that you would like to
see something change. Before you do, make sure you have examined
everything from all sides and that it is a legitimate concern
and does not represent self-serving interests.
Focus on the complaint, watch your own behavior, and leave all
of your bridges unburned and all of your relationships intact.
Complaining is responsible, appropriate and part of our rights;
after all, it was a group of complainers who landed on Plymouth
Rock so long ago.
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