Confidence is Cool By Oscar Bruce
Copyright: 2005 Article Autoresponder:
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CONFIDENCE IS COOL By Oscar Bruce
REMEMBER THE TIME you could not think of anything to say to the
person sitting across from you in that little café or across the
conference table? You stammered when they looked your way. They
smiled at you, but still, there was no way you could reach out
...and you lost yet another chance to make a good contact.
REMEMBER THAT PARTY, when you were standing off to one side by
yourself, and the other people were stealing brief glances at
you? Still, you couldn't think of the right things to say.
REMEMBER LEAVING THAT MEETING? Just ahead of you was the person
you really wanted to meet and get to know. You could not quite
summon up the courage to approach. They walked away into the
night and out of your life.
BY FAR THE MOST TERRIFYING BARRIER to developing relationships
with strangers is learning to talk to them at the first meeting.
Making first contact is sometimes fearful. Even thinking of
approaching a new person makes you break out in a cold sweat.
YOU CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE? How did things get like this, you
wonder? It is because family and peer groups ripped from you at
an early age the innocent social adeptness of the young. The
bullying and being "cut down to size" that passes for
socialization scarred your psyche. The fearful result is that
you are not just shy, but gun shy. But, all that can change. It
can be accomplished.
CAN THIS REALLY ALL BE CHANGED, YOU ASK? The answer is -
absolutely yes. The need to grow is instinctive in the human
spirit. Additionally, self-improvement is proven to be not only
confidence building, but therapeutic. In fact, failure to do so
creates distress and several forms of neuroses.
What radical transformation, then, would it take to reshape a
shy person into an extroverted, socially adept one? Where can
you learn to meet and greet any and all encounters skillfully
and with confidence?
First, realize that advanced language skills are but subtle
elaborations or enhancement of what we already know and do, yet
of a somewhat higher order. Additional examples include
listening, picking up on nonverbal cues, and having a sense of
the other individual's personal space. Finally, the high-arts:
being able to start a conversation with a total stranger,
knowing when to wait and when to act.
IT IS OUR NATURE as human beings to seek affiliation, to make
friends. But sometimes it can be hard for a person to reach out
and create conversation. Most people want to like, want to love,
want to connect, but they are afraid. Things get in the way of
their innate desire; things like FEAR OF REJECTION or
uncertainty about WHAT TO SAY FIRST.
The start of a great relationships begins with "a great opening
line." It is knowing what to say first and how to sustain the
conversation that gets attention and BUILDS CONFIDENCE.
TRUE AND LASTING PERSONAL CONFIDENCE flows from the knowledge
and certainty that you will function skillfully and convincingly
while at ease, in all social or business encounters. What helps
shapes your fate is your ability to stand your ground in any
confrontation - the knowledge that you will always prevail.
Self-confidence will also grow as you depend less on fortuitous
happenstance, on wishing and hoping - and realize that you can
make your choices and actions a consequence of clarity of
purpose. You will become a stronger person as you see yourself
acquiring and applying new language skills.
Total confidence is primarily rooted in possessing the verbal
skills of capturing control of conversations and confrontations.
It is simply a matter of knowing what to say and exactly how to
say it to get the desired results. This is what the Oscar Bruce
publications will put into your life.
********************************************************** Oscar
Bruce is considered the ultimate personal communications guru.
His dynamic books are field manuals for mastering conversation
and confrontations. His website offers several verbal strategies
that can add power to your conversations at no cost. HIS FREE
NEWSLETTER is available at http://www.oscarbruce.com Products:
http://future-world.com/cgi-bin/product/30302/6017
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