Use this check list to assess your communication skills.
Focus
* Do you pay complete attention to others when they are
speaking? (A wandering focus discourages open communication.)
* Do you manage your thoughts during a conversation, focusing
them on understanding what the other person is saying?
(Effective listening requires more concentration than any other
form of communication. If you’re thinking about anything other
than what the person is saying, you’re defeating your ability to
understand.)
* Do you postpone preparing your reply until after you have
heard everything the other person has to say? (Thinking about
what you plan to say while the other person is speaking prevents
you from understanding what that person is saying.)
* Do you ignore distractions, such as other people, ambient
noise, and the surroundings? (Attending to distractions makes
you appear uninterested, unfocused, and rude.)
* Do you make eye contact during a conversation? (Watching a
person’s face shows that you’re paying attention. You also
gather nonverbal messages, which can convey most of the
important information being conveyed to you.)
Environment
* Do you convey confidence, courage, and strength during your
conversations? (A pleasant manner will encourage people to trust
you and tell you more. Negative behavior conveys weakness,
insecurity, and fear.)
* Do you react calmly to bad news? (Anger will frighten people
into avoiding you.)
* Do you encourage others to speak freely? (Appearing
interested, asking questions, and treating others with respect
will facilitate open communication.)
* Do you use a diplomatic, positive vocabulary? (Talking about
what you want is more forceful than talking about what you don’t
want, won’t do, or can’t do. This means that in most cases you
would delete the word “not” from what you say.)
* Do you seek solutions? (Seeking approval, culprits, or
excuses, discourages communication.)
Clarity
* Do you stick to the subject? (Introducing new unrelated issues
will confuse the other person and degrade the quality of your
conversation.)
* Do you maintain a “you” focus? (Speak in terms of what the
other person needs, wants, and understands because that will
enhance the impact of what you say.)
* Do you avoid games? (Asking trick questions, setting traps,
and making others look bad will cause people to avoid you.)
* Do you use a linear, logical approach to explaining things?
(Make it easy for others to understand you because it’s more
efficient.)
* Do you use common terms? (Avoid jargon and flowery speech
because these impress only the person using them.)
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