Leadership Skills: Four Ways of Overcoming Perfectionism

 The High Price of Perfectionism

We pay a high price for perfectionism. “What perfectionism?” we
perfectionists mutter. “We’ve known for years perfectionism is
not healthy so we have dealt with this issue and strive for
personal excellence only!” Really? 

When you slip-up - maybe handle a situation, task or project
less than perfectly – what do you say to yourself? Are you able
to commend yourself on what you did well and perhaps then, note
a thing or two you could improve upon? Or do you focus on the
mistake or less-than-perfect behavior neglecting your positive
efforts? 

Recently I completed facilitating six evening “Leadership”
sessions. Being only my second time facilitating this particular
series I closely observed my “perfectionistic” tendency. As I
completed each session I could readily see areas I could have
improved upon. 

Commend Yourself! Gently Observe Improvements!

For me, it took a huge effort to commend myself on what I had
done well and to be gentle with myself on the areas of
improvement. In fact, I made a pointed effort of congratulating
myself after each session and allowed myself the joy and relief
of savoring a job well done when the series of six was
completed. This is not a simple, natural process for us
perfectionists. 

To further this exercise in self-acknowledgement I did not read
my participant’s evaluations at the program end as usual. This
was perhaps a first in my fourteen years of facilitating. Too
often, I have rushed to read the evaluations to determine my
success. 

Eventually I will receive a summary of the evaluations from the
College I was contracted to but more importantly, I have
deepened my self esteem and self worth through rewarding,
congratulating and commending myself despite what others may
think. To be a strong leader and healthy human being let us
begin now acknowledging our achievements rather than devaluing
our worth and work.

Herein, we begin to wean ourselves from being reliant on outside
influences to determine our worth or how well we have done. We
begin to befriend ourselves and give the internal “Judge” less
power over us.

Not only are we robbed of the enjoyment of our efforts by
focusing on what went wrong and neglecting to commend ourselves
but also, by rushing into worry over the next thing we have to
do. When caught in this repetitive ritual of “not good enough…
do better… do more…” I have found this simple phrase very
freeing… 

Not Perfect but Well Enough!

Feel the relief and comfort of this phrase, “not perfect but
well enough!” Yes! Thank You God! “Thank You God” is another
simple phrase that can help relieve us of the burden of
perfectionism. Not only have I been working on giving myself
credit but also on thanking God for His/Her part in my success.
I know I must constantly turn to my God, my Source, my Higher
Power – call it what you will – for guidance in all I do. 

In the perfectionist’s mind it is all up to ME to do everything
so very, very well but of course - never quite measuring up. The
more I trust that God is working in me and through me the more I
can lay down the heavy burden of perfectionism. It is not all up
to ME. My job is to “do my best and give God the rest.” 

Do My Best and Give God the Rest

Even in the midst of our fear, doubt and inadequacy we can
comfort and encourage ourselves by knowing it is not all up to
us. We can trust God is also at work and all is unfolding
according to a Grand Design far greater than our understanding.
As an Alcoholics Anonymous slogan so simply says “Let go and let
God.” 

We can become better leaders and human beings and release
ourselves from the bondage of perfectionism by practicing these
few ideas. 1. Commend yourself on a job well done. 2. Be gentle
observing your areas of improvement. 3. Remember: “Not perfect
but well enough! 4. Do your best and give God the rest. 

What a relief to give up responsibility for doing everything AND
doing it perfectly!