Why Some Marriages Explode And Fall Into Ashes

Just like a fire with smoldering embers can flare up when they
are stirred or fanned, emotions can flare up in our marriages if
issues are left unresolved to smolder and fester.

Express Anger Respectfully

 Many people are uncomfortable with expressing anger for fear
that it will damage relationships. However, if feelings are
buried, they don't go away, they just smolder and easily flame
up. 

It's critical to learn how to disagree respectfully and without
attacking your spouse. If a safe environment is created for
discussing feelings, it's much easier for the reticent spouse to
have the courage to share from their heart and resolve any
conflict.

Get Help For Serious Problems

Counseling keeps problems from escalating. If conflicts are not
resolved early on, a couple may stew over these problems for
years and this creates negative behavior patterns that become
difficult to reverse. 

Obtaining professional help sooner rather than later will reduce
verbal sparring, poor or no communication and acting out.

 Expect To Get Along

 If you expect to get along with your spouse, you will get along
with your spouse. Talking respectfully and looking for creative
solutions to the problems you face as a couple and as parents
will go a long way in creating a strong and enduring marriage. 

If you expect to have a confrontation, you will have a
confrontation. If you expect to resolve a conflict with respect
and love, you will resolve a conflict with respect and love.
Expect the best from your spouse, and you'll get it.

As we express our anger respectfully, get professional help for
serious marriage problems, and expect to get along, we will find
our marriage growing instead of headed for the ash pile.