The quality of your life has a strong connection with how
healthy your relationship with other people is. Do you struggle
to make other people see things your way? Well stop trying,
because you can’t manipulate others. Why? Well, just like you,
they are operating from their own map of the world. What you CAN
do is develop a habit of paying attention to the positive
aspects of your relationship.
If you are distressed by your relationships, then you need to
change the way in which you react to the behaviour of others. If
you hold a belief that you will only be happy when the other
person changes, it’s time to get real, because: The Buck
Stops With You.
Think about someone in your life; Are you paying attention to
the qualities you think that person is lacking? For example,
maybe you think: “If only he was tidier, more attentive to me,
more loving, etc…”? Whatever you put your attention on expands.
If you only notice the things that annoy you about others, or if
you focus on what you think they are not doing right, then you
will only experience more of the behaviour that you are trying
to avoid!
Try this exercise:
Think about this specific person, and write down the qualities
you admire in them. Take the time to remember what drew you to
them in the first place. Maybe they are great at making you
laugh…they could be a good listener, or have a talent for
organising things and events. Whatever you like about this
person, write it onto a list! And then look at this list
every day.
By doing this, you shift your subconscious attention onto the
positive aspects of the relationship and you will start to
experience even more of these qualities that you like! Your
relationship will improve and the other person will start to
become more loving, open and receptive towards you as well.
What About Those Things You Don't Like?
Okay, then. What really annoys you about others? Do you get
upset by arrogant people? Or maybe people who cannot be
assertive really make your blood boil. Whatever it is that
bothers you, you must understand this:
We criticize in others the very qualities that we dislike
most about ourselves
We are all connected to a Universal consciousness. When you look
at another person, you are also looking at a version of
yourself. Learn to see yourself in the reflection of others, and
you will become more tolerant of what you see as their negative
qualities. And remember, other people, are always a mirror to
you.
If you want a great relationship, you need to pay attention to
the way you react to people. And most importantly, treat others
as you would like to be treated. You have the ability to create
a happy, fulfilling relationship, and if you learn to see
yourself in others, you will find yourself becoming more and
more open to experiencing the good qualities those people.
***
You are licensed to publish this article free of charge, on
condition that the author's name is included, and the link to
her website remains visible and clickable to human readers, and
as long as the links can be read and followed by the search
engine spiders.
***
|
