While it's usually men that get the articles on sexual anxiety,
women are just as susceptible. Maybe you've been with your
partner for a long time and have 'gotten used' to them, but you
wanted to try swinging as a way to spice things up.
And now, you're thinking that you're more 'stale' than spice.
Taking Stock Of Your Skills
One of the best ways to get out of thinking that you're not any
good in bed is to talk to your partner. Ask them what they love
about you and your skills before and during sex.
You may be surprised to hear the answers. Much of the 'good
stuff' that we do is natural and we wouldn't even realize that
we're doing it.
So you can count on your instincts to get you through any rough
patches.
Feeling Your Way Through
Another great way to keep you confident as you're trying to
please someone new is to ask beforehand. That way, you already
have an arsenal of ways to give them pleasure.
If you haven't done that, you can always ask while you're in the
moment. Ask them if this or that feels good. Where do they like
to be touched? Is there anything that they don't like?
By having them guide you, you can stop worrying that you're
doing everything wrong.
And people want to lead you in the right direction.
Building Up Confidence
Most of the time, our sexual skills come from trying something
that you've never tried before. My partner once told me that he
always makes things up as we're in the act, but because he's so
confident (or at least acts like it), I thought that he was much
more experienced.
It's amazing what jumping right in will do.
Do Your Homework
Take the time to read up on sex and ways to pleasure someone.
Read magazines, websites, and articles. Find books and charts to
the G-spot and other wonders of the human body.
Learn as much as you can about the body and how you can please
it.
Watch erotic movies and see what they do. If anything, you can
always try to copy something. The more things you know, the
better off you will be.
Fake It
And I don't mean faking the orgasm; I mean fake your skills.
Pretend that you know more than you do and eventually you will.
Act as though you are an adult video champion and you know every
trick in the book to make someone feel good.
You would be surprised how many times you are right.
Pay Attention
By just listening to their breathing quicken, you can find a
discreet little spot that needs lots of 'attention' or realize
when their breathing slows that you've not where you need to be.
Test out the waters a little more each time, and soon your
anxiety will just be a memory.
Realize that everyone wants to feel good, so they'll make sure
that you're doing everything you can to ensure that.
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