Online Dating Advice: The Big problem
When you respond to an ad, posted by a lady, you
have to know that you are not the only one.
It's more likely that your the 35-th person that is
writing to her. I'd like to make a suggestion. Right
here, right now, log on to the web and register
yourself at match.com section as a lady (about 23
y/o, nice and slim).
Be sure that you use an e-mail that is not valuable
for you - getting a new free one for the purpose is a
good idea.
This is going to be a small experiment. After a
couple of days you'll find out two things:
Dating Tips 1 - It's cool to be a lady in the NET :)
Dating Tips 2 - The approximate number of people you are
competing with.
Something more important - you'll get the idea
about what are the other guys writing about. This is
valuable information.
Don't hesitate and be desperate if you get 40 emails
the first day from all sorts of guys willing to
go on a date with you.
I'll tell you how to make women think you differ
from them.
Online
Dating Tip 1
The usual mistake
Well, let's suppose u did the experiment that I
suggested. I bet you'll find a couple dozens of
variations of the following:
"Hi! My name is Bob. I'm 2x/3x/4x..... y/o. I live in
PutTheName City. I'm (body measures & eye-hair
colour follows). I work at a ImagineSomeBusiness
Company. I like doing (this varies a lot). We might
give it a try if u r interested ;) Bob"
This sounds pathetic, doesn't it?
Bob is wasting his time.
Of course - he has his own chances.
If his job or hobby matches the lady's ones, he'll
probably get an answer. If also the lady is posting
an ad for the first time, and Bob is the first one to
answer, again he'll probably get a reply.
Pay attention to the word "first". 1 is the loneliest
number...
Where is he making a mistake?
Bob might be a cool guy, but he shows nothing of
it.
What he does is a simple announcing of facts. His
personality remains covered. As I said, he could be
a good psychologist, witty, emotional and educated
- whole bunch of features that women consider
valuable.
But if all this remains hidden behind these plain
body/work/hobby facts, it's quite easy for a lady to
decide that nothing of it exists... With other words -
Bob is wasting his valuable online time. As I said,
only the fact-match remains something that can
hook a lady.
This is something very thin to rely on...
Online
Dating Tip 2
So, what to do?
The answer is simple - you have to put some
personality in your e-mail.
Once you do this, you can be sure that you can
leave an impression. If you manage to do this, your
work is done.
Remember the features I was talking aboutpsychologist,
witty, emotional and educated. You
have to convince the lady that you can think, have
sense of humour and you haven't missed the
classes at school.
Make her laugh, make her think; don't disturb her
with spelling mistakes and your chances to get a
reply increase dramatically. It doesn't matter if the
lady is educated or not - she wants you to be such.
Let me say a few words about each one of these
features....
Be a psychologist!
Online
Dating Tip 3
When you e-mail a lady you have to show yourself
as a psychologist.
Well, how are you supposed to do this? Simple -
you have to make a small prediction that comes out
to be true.
First you have to read the lady's ad and gather all
the valuable information.
Try to understand what is the proper motivation for
her to post an ad. It might be stated directly - than it
is useless for you to mention it.
If she does not say it clear, then go for it - she'll be
pleased to hear that someone understands her. One
thing that you can always use is the fact that quite a
lot of people write something similar to the ad that
I showed you above.
You can predict that the lady is probably already
tired of ads, telling about heights, weight and eyecolour.
Say that you won't bother her with useless facts.
Promise to send her a picture instead in some of
your following letters.
Of course - do it if she replies. If you manage to
make such a "working" prediction, this will
convince the lady that the space between your ears
is not filled with air. You know, even if you are not
quite right, she might reply to tell where you are
wrong. This is also a base for conversation. Use it.
Be witty!
Showing some sense of humour - well, something
that is difficult to achieve sometimes. What I can
say is JOKE WITH YOURSELF, NOT WITH
HER! REMEMBER THAT! Don't use any of the
info that she gives as a material for jokes!
It might work, but it's more likely that you back the
lady off. Try to get her point of view - she'll say
"Who the hell is he to speak like that?!" Don't risk!
In the same time, you can always make laugh from
the way you look. Use phrases like "It could be
damn worse" or "I don't cover the mirrors with
sheets at my place" when talking about your
appearance.
It's a basic thing to show that you like yourself. If
you don't, well... this is a little bit far from the
topic of this article, but do an effort not to show it
(and constantly work to change this).
It's a basic statement that you have first to like and
love the person that you see in the mirror in order
the others to like and love you. Back to humour -
keep the lines that are supposed to make her laugh
unexpected and short.
Online Dating Tip
4
Telling long stories with funny end is not a quite
good idea - the end might not be that funny and the
whole reading might be in vain. Coming up with a
witty line at the moment of writing an e-mail is not
always possible.
It's a good idea always to keep your ears opened
for funny things, quotes, etc. Write them down the
moment you hear them, or when they come to your
mind.
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