A good portion of the enjoyment of a pleasant date is in the
anticipation. We have a date for Friday night and we think about
it throughout the week. We think about what we will wear, where
we'll go, what we'll eat, what we'll say and do. We plan on how
long it will take to get ready and whether we'll need to leave
work a few minutes early.
When we enter a relationship, we stop dating. We see each other,
of course, much more than we did in our dating days. At the
onset of living together, we still have that sense of
anticipation before seeing that beloved face. We hurry home to
the most important person in our little world.
After years together, we become used to the routine. We may
enjoy seeing our significant other as much as ever but the
exhilarating anticipation has become normalized. We have become
habituated to the lives together we have created.
We need to start dating again. We need to create special events
that we can look forward to with keen relish. Thinks about when
you last took a vacation or a pleasure trip. The days and weeks
leading up to it were times of mounting excitement and planning;
we saw it in our mind's eye long before it took place. After it
was over, we enjoyed remembering the things we had seen and
done, secretly smiling at the fun we'd had and the free feelings
we had experienced.
The same spirit-boosting results can be obtained, to a lesser
degree but with more frequency, in planning small events with
our partner.
A lunch or dinner date at a special place can be something we
look forward to for a long happy week. A date to go bowling, or
dancing, or golfing, can be set up several days in advance. Plan
on when you are going to see that special movie or attend a
concert.
An event simply needs to be special, it doesn't have to be
expensive. Plan a visit to the fast food chain where you had
your first date. Take visits to local hotels to see which ones
have the best free hors d'oevres at happy hour. Meet at a museum
or an art gallery for a stroll together.
Send your honey a special invitation by card or e-mail. Advise
that no "regrets" will be acceptable. Prepare for the date as
carefully as if it was your first meeting and be on your best
behavior as you were in that delicious dance of courtship.
When your friends question why you are in such a good mood
lately, just smile and tell them that your life is so special
that there's no time left to be grumpy.
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